---

Q u o t e:
I asked her, if there were ten of us, would it be free? If there were 11 of us, would they owe us money?!

---

if life were like that u wouldnt need a visa win what u buy card...

:P

From working in a Best Buy store, actual questions I have been asked in store:

"Do you sell clothes here?"

"Where is your electronics department?"

"Where are your T.V.s?" <----How the @#%@ can you not see the entire half of the store that is the Home Theater department which is full of 60 inch televisions?

It's one thing to have a legitimate question that you need help with, its another thing to just be plain ignorant and not use your eyes/ears to find #@%!.

move this to OT and sticky!!!! great stuff

This has to be one of the BEST threads I've ever read on the Warlock Forums. I'm glad to see the whole community really laid back and sharing some great stories and tons of laughs. Thanks to everyone who has posted a story. You've just kept me entertained for a whole Saturday Shift. ^_^

Few short ones:
I used to work at a KB Outlet store a few years ago and a fairly common one was:
Cust: "Where are your kids toys."

I really wanted to tell them, "I'm 17, I don't have kids."

Library job I have now:
Patron:"Do you guys have books?"
Me: *turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right* Nope. It's all online.

Also,
Patron: "Can you help me find books about dog training? Or speaking with animals?"
Me: "I'm sorry ma'm this is a College library, (also it's a rather small library) we only have a small selection of books and most of what I'm finding doesn't relate to 'Animal Communications.'"
Patron: "Well, what kind of books do you have here then? If you don't have any that can help me?"
Me: "Ummm, mainly books relating to the courses available here at the College. And things Professors have had us order for them. I'm sorry there haven't been any Animal Training Courses here ma'm."

I worked for the DMV once opon a time, I did the driving tests. I was the guy in the car with you, clipboard and stopwatch. Yeah, you know me.

It's not a hard test to pas Young kids (15-16) would fail on a regual basis, and .. I'm a warlock, so I couldn't help but to enjoy their misery. -evil grin-

The one I remember so clearly was the woman who totaled her car on our driving course. Mainly becuase I was in the passanger seat.

She was daddy's little princess, blond and dumber then curse of weakness, and in a bright red mustang convertable. Top down too, was a nice day. I after the prelimary inspection and talk with her before I get into the car and fastened my seatbelt.

Reseda "Okay, start the car and drive to that stop sign."
Blonde "Okay." And does that with no difficulty, even remembers to stop at the stop sign!

At this point I need to mention that an american DMV has test courses set up for driving tests. It's a paved parking lot, and the course is about 300 feet long in total. There's a parallel parking spot, a few turns, and you've got to back up in a straight line. Really easy to anyone who's familiar with driving, and you MAYBE get up to 15 mph in the longer parts.

Res "Okay, Go straight ahead and turn into the gate with the words 'Course 2' on them, then stop, okay?"

The blonde stares at me intently, the one braincell in her head tries to process this complex instruction. Seconds pass. Then it must have given up because she nodded and giggles out an "Okay!' before she floored it! She lays down an impressive stretch of rubber and drives over SEVERAL high curbs before crashign into the guard rails between courses.

I'm shocked, didn't even have a chance to put the car in neutral or turn the key, didn't take more then 10 seconds according to the security camaras.

Reaching over, I put the mortally wounded muscle car into parka nd shut the engine off. I get out and look, Oil pan, radiator, and who knows what else is bleeding onto the pavement. She looks at me and shrugs.

"Did I fail?"

---

Q u o t e:
When i was in the Air Force I dont know how many times i got called out to fix something that wouldnt work in the OFFicial position.

---

Got that as an ET in the Navy all the time.

"The radios are sounding fuzzy again!"
"Fuzzy?"
"Yeah, there's noise and static and stuff."
<Sigh, move away from Yahoo games, stomp down the ATC tower>
<Remove several large, heavy binders off control panels>
"QUIT putting all your s*%t on the squelch switches!"

Also loved that ET's were the only people in the command "authorized" to CHANGE LIGHT BULBS. Uh, huh. You need 9+ months of extensive electronics training to change a light bulb. Let's not add in the fact that I got in trouble once for doing so w/o doing "proper tag out procedures" on the light switch connected to said light bulb. *sigh*

Another fun one was when I was 17 working as a cashier in a grocery store. This man was *really* irritated that I wouldn't let him use his food stamps card to buy beer. Got all noisy and obnoxious about it. Finally, he left my line, and came back a few minutes later with several bottles of cooking sherry, asking if he was allowed to purchase *that* on food stamps. I don't even want to imagine drinking that... definite signs that one is an alcoholic.

Wow.. This thread is so bada$$ I can't stop reading it! I'm not even @ work. It's keeping me from playing the game haha.



Sticky this thread!

Good stuff!

---

Q u o t e:




The gorilla glue one is great. The bikini wax one sounds downright dangerous. Worse one I ever had was a dog that ate a penny made partially of zinc and had a horrible anemia, didn't survive the surgery.

Definately a small world moment though. Bay Area is great for vet med. Most people take good care of their pets and have the income to pay for good care.

Husband and I own a practice in the city. Maybe I'll see ya on Mok'Nathal.

---

Do you do chinchillas? My sister still can't find a good vet for her chinnies, and she lives in Redwood City. ;)

They have too many of them now, seeing as they can't seem to find a vet they trust for their male's vasectomy.

/offtopic

I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.

"Where is the beach?" On an island???

"Where's main street?" The store was on main street.

"When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?" ...The same time as the rest of Massachussets. It's not the 51st state, people.

Oh, and my personal favorite. We serve ice cream (Oreo icecream is one of our flavors). A woman comes in and asks, "What is that one - O-RAY-oh?"

Come on, I know you people out there have more stories than this! Lets get rolling with some new ones ^^. Don't let this thread die!

*for sake of keeping thread alive*

I don't really think I have any good ones...but here goes...

I'm in the Air Force and work @ the hotel on base. I get the rudest of customers who think I'm stupid. It pisses me off. (well I am but not THAT stupid)


Customer calls, I answer

Me - "Turumi Lodge, this is SrA Me how many I help you"?

Customer - "Hi do you have any rooms available for tonight"?

Me - "No Sir, we don't, we are all sold out".

Customer - "You mean you don't have any rooms left"?

Me - Pause......... "That's correct"

Customer - "So where am I gonna sleep tonight"?

Me - "umm, any of the 18 hotels offbase"?





Oh this one's good too... The customer is in his room and calls down to front desk.

Customer - "Hello, my dvd player won't work, is there a special button to push"?

Me - "Well there's a picture diagram right next to the bed, but all you need to do is push the angle button which changes the input".

Customer - "It's not working"

Me - " Do any of the buttons work? Can you change the channels or anything"?

Customer - "No"

Me - pause........ "I think you need to come down and get some batteries"

^BUMP^


I wanna hear more stories before I have to login to game outa boredom! c'mon!

PLEASE STIKY THIS THREAD. Its pure gold.

Workin at Barbeques Galore in a northern NSW Australia for around a year, and in that time i picked up this golden memory...


I'll first point out this - It is common sense that most gases are flammable and explode, and secondly that if you are refilling your Barbeque Gas bottle then the gas your filling it will is OBVIOUSLY flammable and can explode...it is pressurized ffs...

Anyway a customer comes in...

Cus- yeh i need a gas refill mate, bottles out by the gas cylinders
Me- yes sir, I'll be right back to ring that up for you

-at this point i wonder out to fill the small 8kg gas bottle up from the huge 500kg gas cylinder just outside the store, sometimes customers follow you outside...this guy did.

we chat away for a min or two whilst i attach the right equipment and begin to fill it up ( the guy is standing about a metre from me and thus the gas bottles). but during our conversation (about cars or some $h!t) he begins to light up a ciggie. I stop talking and stand there, completely transfixed by the absolute stupidity of this being. I thought...right here people, this is natural selection, the process of evolution in the making, darwin theory proof).

After 10 seconds i yell out "What the F@%k are you doing?!"
Cus- Just need a *## mate somethin wrong?
me- i point at the 3 very large red signs on the gas bottle, and the other two signs on the wall that clearly state "DANGER, FLAMMABLE, NO OPEN FLAME, NO SMOKING"

2 days after that i quit. I feared for my life, if these people wanted to improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it, that dont bother me. i just dont wanna be a part of it.



This is another one, from when i worked at dominoes pizza

Me- Dominoes pizza, how can i help you
Cus- yeh 2 large pizzas, garlic coke...delivered
Me- kk be there soon (Summerised
Me- Do you require change for a 50?
Cus- No, why is that?
Me- well store policy prohibits our drivers from leaving with any more money than we need, for safety reasons, so thats a no?
Cus- No i dont
Click**

20 mins later that order is up and i decide to deliver it cause i know where it is ( mate lives close by). i get there and this folows...

Me- Pizza delivery
Cus- oh thank you.
Me- thats 21.95 (or somethin)
Cus- here you go - The customer hands me a hundred dollar bill
Me- ............
Cus- is there a problem?
Me-.............

i ended up have to go back and get the correct change, which was okay cause i told her i 'cant legally leave the pizzas here unpaid for sorry' . lol she was soo bloody blonde.

---

Q u o t e:
Disturbing -
Oooh, one more freaky incident, I remember very clearly a certain customer that came in wanting a computer, he appeared to have little red bite marks all over his hands, arms, face, it threw me off, didnt really try to stare, he bought a computer and thats all that mattered. Many months later this dude comes back to have his computer looked at, power supply died or something.

I crack open the case and theres probably 20+ dead cockroaches inside the bottom of his computer. Im guessing thats where all his bites came from, dude lived in an infestation.

---

Roaches bite? AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Even the pet cockroaches in game fill me with all kinds of revulsion.

I probably would have wanted to commit Hellfire upon opening that case.

I work as a Tech for a software company.

This guys calls asking how to save a document that I sent him via email

So I say "Ok lets open your email program"

He says "Ok"

I say "Ok, do you have the message I sent you open?"

He says "Yeah"

I say " Ok click the paper clip and choose Desktop to save it"

He Says "Ok"

I say "Ok close all your screens"

I say "Ok look at your desktop, do you see the file?"

He says "No"

I say "We just saved it there are you sure you don't see it"

After like 10 min of trying to find the file I finally say

"Ok, tell me what you see on your desktop"

He say " All I see is my keyboard and mouse"

I say "........"

2 years ago, I took a job at a McDonald's in Eugene, OR (Home of UofO -- ducks not beavers).

It was the day of the Civil War game, and I had never seen anything like it...people were camped out for blocks waiting to get in. They would send one person to buy enough food for 10 ravenous fans, we were getting orders of "20 egg McMuffins" and "40 breakfast burritos", So anyway, with omgwtfhuge orders coming in and a packed breakfast-time lobby, this scabby looking couple wanders in. It's Eugene, land of hackysack and vegans; so meth-heads, hippies, and hobos were fairly common.

Anyway, they order some stuff.

Naturally, half of our kitchen crew doesn't speak any English (it's McDonald's, afterall), and Rosa or Maria or whoever forgot the lady's pancakes in her Deluxe Breakfast Platter. I assure the couple that I will bring the pancakes out as soon as I can, but the kitchen is slammed and 7 or 8 minutes later I'm still waiting on those pancakes.

The lady's male counterpart procedes to throw his platter at me (swearing profusely, but that goes without saying). Then he walks a few feet away from the counter and pulls something out of his pocket, and begins to sprinkle it on the ground while spinning in a circle...as he chants. He notified me that he was putting a curse on me, my family, and McDonald's, and stormed out after. I got a good laugh out of it as I ate the pancakes myself during my smoke break :D


I work as a newspaper planner now, I find minimizing customer interaction is key >:D